This could be a very long post. But then tonight I most likely have the time.

Tonight I am sitting at KGH in ICU watching monitors make their squiggly lines, hearing the blood pressure cuff come on and then slowly go down, reading the results on that BP monitor, which is usually reading some ridicules’ numbers like 99/35 main line of 49. I sit wondering if my dear friend will come through the night, or if this will be our final moments together. The very thought of losing Carol brings tears to my eyes and makes my heart ache. Probably because I do not think she will be here to greet the dawn. Almost 28 years we have called each other Sister, 28 years we have shared our laughter and tears, we have always been there for each other. And now as I sit and watch her struggle with each breath, I pray for her relief, and fear the answer to that prayer. I thought I would be ready for this day, as I have watched her suffer for the last couple of years. And now at this moment I realize I am not ready to give her up. And then again I question what her quality of life will be like if she stays. She has lost her legs due to poor blood circulation, she has to have kidney dialysis, and she has a bad heart. And today she was without a pulse for 17 minutes before they got her heart started again. Could she have brain damage? For the last hour she has had her eyes open off and on, I call her name, but no response. I find hope of keeping her quickly fading away.

I can only compare this pain to when I lost Mom and Dad. I am so thankful for having had the privilege of Carol in my life.

It has truly been the cycle of life this year. We have added two new Grand Daughters, and one Great Niece and one Great Nephew. Garrett and Leslie had a beautiful little girl Starlynn Grace in May and Kathlen and Jon had a beautiful little girl Katherine Lucy in June. Then my niece Amy had twins in July, Thomas Sawyer & Kimberly Ann. We were able to see Starlynn the day she was born, but had to wait to see baby Kate until late June. While we were in Michigan we had all sorts of fun with little Brett. Sure do miss that little guy! Wish they lived closer so we could see them more often. It is really hard on Grandpa not to be able to see and play with his grandchildren. I helped in spelling camp again this year. I love to watch kids break through that wall of not being able to read and grow beyond what they thought they could not do. This year proved to have real challenges with some of our kids. But all in all even our lowest child still saw growth. We had one particular boy, who reminded me of my own son when he had to go to spelling camp. Who fought me tooth and nail the full 2o days we went to school. What a battle that proved to be. But the results were great!

After spelling camp we had a short break and then it was off to Idaho to Brad's graduation. Dad was so proud. I think he was beginning to think all these kids were worth it. Then it was home to get our lives put in order and get ready to babysit the Bevan-Church children.

First week of August was Activity girl’s day camp. We had a blast! We made puff pillows with fur (fake of course) on the back and then we stuffed the pillow. We made journals / progress books, bubble blowers, bath salts and we made hot rolls, wontons, rice krispy treat sticks and apple butter. We then had a dinner with our Mothers. We were supposed to have a sleep over at the Fullers but the forecast called for thunder showers, so I canceled, boy was I in trouble for that one.

I haven't had a chance to drive my horse yet this year. Hopefully that will happen soon now that the weather has cooled off.

Well it is 4:30 a.m. and Carol is still here. She is still not responding to stimulation, except when they put a tube through another tube down her lungs and suction her out. Then she gets all bent out of shape and they have to give her something to calm her. But she still does not recognize or respond to any one. Please keep her in your prayers that she will be blessed with what is right for her.

Goodnight or Good morning?